To All The Single Ladies

As I find myself the Beyonce ‘single lady’ amongst my group of friends I’m often bombarded with questions including, but not limited to, “so who are you seeing?” “are you ok?” or my favourite, “don’t worry I’ll set you up with someone ok?” My friends and family seem to worry about my lack of dates or lack of current boyfriend as if there’s something wrong with ME.  As if they believe I’m sat at home cry-wanking at night about not having a significant other. That I’m writing in my diary about my longing for someone to hold me at night, my tears soaking the pages.  As if it couldn’t possibly be the case that I’m actually OK being single, OK with being by myself and OK not having a man in my life.

Being in that awkward stage where half the people you know from school are getting married, having children and purchasing homes, and the other half don’t know what the heck they’re doing, I would definitely categorize myself in the latter category. Just about to embark on my OE the mere thought of settling down, buying a home or having kids is terrifying to me. I don’t know what I want, where I want to live or what tomorrow will bring let alone the future. And guess what, that is absolutely a-ok with me. As a control freak in the past I’m trying to let things be, let things naturally happen the way they’re meant to and live by the mantra of if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.

But what is this overwhelming need for women to have men in their lives? To have someone on the go, to have a date every night of the week, to have someone to text or booty call on a Saturday night.  We find ourselves constantly pressured to find a boyfriend, or a husband before it’s too late and the good ones are taken. It’s been ingrained in our subconscious that within mere minutes of meeting someone we’re doodling their last name after ours, picking our bridesmaids dresses and wondering what your children will look like. (Yes women are creeps). But isn’t this way of thinking just setting yourself up for disappointment? It puts impossible pressure on them and yourself, something that you just can’t live up to.

So to those people that are so deeply concerned with my singledom, be rest assured that I’m fine. I’m enjoying my 20’s, enjoying partying every weekend, enjoying having nights to myself to catch up on my favourite shows. Enjoying not having to answer to anyone, to check in with anyone or doing things I don’t particularly want to do. Enjoying not having to entertain someone else’s friends or family, enjoying spending time with my own friends and family by myself. To put it simply, I’m enjoying my life. There’s nothing “wrong” with me that I’m single. I am by myself because I want to be. Being by yourself and happy is something I’m proud of so anyone with a contrasting opinion can tell their story walking.

I also don’t need to be set up. Although I’m flattered that my friends want to see me happy with someone, I’m not interesting in dating someone’s friends brother’s uncle’s ex boyfriend. I also don’t want to be set up at clubs and bars – that drunk guy who’s sloppily dancing isn’t really my type…no matter how drunk I am. Sure I’m happy to get my flirt on, awkwardly dance with someone I think is a mega babe, but most of all, I go out to have a good time with my friends, not to meet a potential husband. I go out to have a boogie, to get a bit horsed, make a bit of a dick of myself, and have a laugh. One night stands and husband hunting is just not my thing.

Don’t get me wrong. If I came across my dream man I would snatch that man up in a fishing net and never let him go. But in the mean time, I wouldn’t change a thing.