Leaving the Nest

I’d say I’m a very sheltered person having lived in wee ol New Zealand for all my life. Apart from visiting Australia when I was little (this totally doesn’t count) I’ve never been travelling but I’ve always experienced wanderlust.

Wanderlust – the strong agenda for or impulse to wander, travel and explore the world

So where was I meant to start? Europe? Asia? America? I wanted to see it all but needed to prioritise. Having relatives and friends over in London I felt that it was a good starting point or ‘base camp’ to travel from. Then was the decision for how long to move for – 6 months? a year? indefinitely? I’m lucky enough to have a British Passport so alongside my best friend, we decided that we’re going to pack up our lives and move indefinitely. Scary huh.

At the beginning of August we’ll be travelling to London, then embarking on a 14 day European Top Deck Tour. We’ll be visiting France, Amsterdam, the Swiss Alps, Rome, Venice and so on. With our Top Deck family we’ll be exploring new culture, trying new foods and seeing new sights. Then we’re doing a 9 day Sail Greece Contiki where we’ll visit Santorini, Athens, Paros and Ios followed by three weeks of ‘yolo’ travel ending in Ibiza for a 5 day booze cruise. Then it’s back to London to be ‘grown ups’ and get jobs and start up a new life.

I. Can’t. Wait.

I’m not too proud to admit it, but one of the things I’m most excited for is the plane rides. Met with much dismay by my friends and family who don’t quite understand my excitement, I can’t wait for the long haul to London, the free meals delivered to you, the movies you can watch, the naps you’ll take (I am a napping feen). What could be better? This just sounds like an Ideal Sunday afternoon to me? Ok I may be a bit naive in this respect and will probably live to regret such thoughts. One place I’m particularly excited about visiting is Rome – mainly so I can use the phrase “when in Rome”….IN ROME. Ok I’m beginning to think I’m going to stick out like a sore thumb overseas…

But although my trip is so exciting, and something I’ve looked forward to for years, I can’t help but feel anxious and scared at the same time. Anxious about what will happen, who I’ll meet, if I’ll find a job in London, whether I’ll be happy or not. Scared about who I’m leaving behind, what I’ll miss while I’m gone or if I’m making a mistake.  But in life you take the good with the bad, sometimes you give up something good to get something great. I’m a firm believer in trusting your gut instincts and my gut is screaming to get excited and go! And perhaps the thoughts of ‘who I’ll meet’, ‘what I’ll do’ and so on are what I should be getting excited for. Noone knows what’s around the corner in life…

‘That’ Girl at the Clurrrrb

So this weekend I headed out to a BYO with a group of girlfriends. Ready for some banter, drinks and a boogie I was a bottle of wine deep in no time. But of course it didn’t stop there, not realising my limits (when will I learn) I was bought drinks, bought some myself, and turned into a thirsty, wild animal who couldn’t get enough of the demon juice we know as alcohol.

Now we all know ‘that’ girl at the club. That one who’s just the drunkest person there, not making sense, probably falling over, crying or hitting on everyone insight. We all have those nights and on Saturday, it was my turn. I became a sloppy menace to my friends….and society. Ok ok I wasn’t that bad but what tipped me off was seeing (or what I thought was) my ex’s friend. Yelling out to them they ignored me which seemed to turn me into a bawling mess of self pity. Crying in the toilet cubicles to my poor best friend about how much I missed my ex was the tipping point and when I was taken home by another caring friend.

Waking up in the morning was painful and not just because of my thrashing headache (you know the ones where it feels like you’re brain is flipping…just me? ok…) but also because I instantly felt embarrassed and regretful. Embarrassed that I had totally waaa’d on to my friends and embarrassed that I had actually admitted out loud that I missed him. I was getting really good at ignoring these types of thoughts.

They say it takes half the time that you’re with someone to get over them and I just don’t know if that’s true. Maybe you carry around a little bit of hurt from each relationship you have? Maybe that hurt never truly goes away? I think your heart and your head are always fighting with each other. My head is always (usually) reasonable, logical and full of wisdom while my heart makes me feel quite the opposite. While I know ex’s are ex’s for a reason and that they end for a reason, meaning there’s something bigger and better just round the corner, my heart has a harder time of letting go, of memories we shared, laughs we had and what could have been.  But maybe this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Having relationships past and present is all about memories, remembering the times you shared and realising that not all friendships or relationships are forever. Remembering that its OK to miss someone and that it’s never something I should be embarrassed or regretful about. People in relationships don’t have it perfect all the time, so of course it’s the same for all the single ladies.

To All The Single Ladies

As I find myself the Beyonce ‘single lady’ amongst my group of friends I’m often bombarded with questions including, but not limited to, “so who are you seeing?” “are you ok?” or my favourite, “don’t worry I’ll set you up with someone ok?” My friends and family seem to worry about my lack of dates or lack of current boyfriend as if there’s something wrong with ME.  As if they believe I’m sat at home cry-wanking at night about not having a significant other. That I’m writing in my diary about my longing for someone to hold me at night, my tears soaking the pages.  As if it couldn’t possibly be the case that I’m actually OK being single, OK with being by myself and OK not having a man in my life.

Being in that awkward stage where half the people you know from school are getting married, having children and purchasing homes, and the other half don’t know what the heck they’re doing, I would definitely categorize myself in the latter category. Just about to embark on my OE the mere thought of settling down, buying a home or having kids is terrifying to me. I don’t know what I want, where I want to live or what tomorrow will bring let alone the future. And guess what, that is absolutely a-ok with me. As a control freak in the past I’m trying to let things be, let things naturally happen the way they’re meant to and live by the mantra of if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.

But what is this overwhelming need for women to have men in their lives? To have someone on the go, to have a date every night of the week, to have someone to text or booty call on a Saturday night.  We find ourselves constantly pressured to find a boyfriend, or a husband before it’s too late and the good ones are taken. It’s been ingrained in our subconscious that within mere minutes of meeting someone we’re doodling their last name after ours, picking our bridesmaids dresses and wondering what your children will look like. (Yes women are creeps). But isn’t this way of thinking just setting yourself up for disappointment? It puts impossible pressure on them and yourself, something that you just can’t live up to.

So to those people that are so deeply concerned with my singledom, be rest assured that I’m fine. I’m enjoying my 20’s, enjoying partying every weekend, enjoying having nights to myself to catch up on my favourite shows. Enjoying not having to answer to anyone, to check in with anyone or doing things I don’t particularly want to do. Enjoying not having to entertain someone else’s friends or family, enjoying spending time with my own friends and family by myself. To put it simply, I’m enjoying my life. There’s nothing “wrong” with me that I’m single. I am by myself because I want to be. Being by yourself and happy is something I’m proud of so anyone with a contrasting opinion can tell their story walking.

I also don’t need to be set up. Although I’m flattered that my friends want to see me happy with someone, I’m not interesting in dating someone’s friends brother’s uncle’s ex boyfriend. I also don’t want to be set up at clubs and bars – that drunk guy who’s sloppily dancing isn’t really my type…no matter how drunk I am. Sure I’m happy to get my flirt on, awkwardly dance with someone I think is a mega babe, but most of all, I go out to have a good time with my friends, not to meet a potential husband. I go out to have a boogie, to get a bit horsed, make a bit of a dick of myself, and have a laugh. One night stands and husband hunting is just not my thing.

Don’t get me wrong. If I came across my dream man I would snatch that man up in a fishing net and never let him go. But in the mean time, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Expectations V Reality

When you’re young, you have huge expectations. You think you’re life is going to be one big party, you’re going to be with the man of your dreams, you’re going to be super skinny and have a closet that’s as big, if not bigger, than your bedroom. You’re going to be flush with money, be graceful and effortlessly cool.

I used to think that getting old meant that I would be taken seriously, and I would take myself seriously, I’d be wearing pencil skirts and white shirt tops to my office job and I would have my own apartment in town somewhere. I’d definitely have a fabulous boyfriend and would have money in the bank for holidays, a new car or a shopping spree.

I don’t know where I got those ideas from (too much TV?) but boy was I wrong.

Expectation V Reality #1 – My Cooking Skills

I used to think that in my 20s I would be somewhat a chef extraordinary. Ok perhaps not that far, but I at least thought I’d be able to muster up something a little better than packet macaroni and cheese. I had high hopes of impressing others with my cooking, being that girl who brought in baking for her friends or coworkers. Instead, I’ve become a master of eggs on toast, packet noodles and risotto that comes in a box. #domesticated

Expectation V Reality #2 – My Graceful Nature

Expectation? I would be a graceful goddess who can wear heels effortlessly all day long, not trip up on stairs, and impress everyone I met. Reality? Looking like a boy dressing up as a woman while I trip over nothing and people giving me the stink eye.

Expectation V Reality #3 – Me being a trendsetter

I don’t understand the girls that can wear lipstick and NOT look like a clown, those who have a messy bun and DON’T look homeless or like they haven’t showered for a week. Totally not fair.

Expectation V Reality #4 – My Flirty-ness

I definitely thought that by now I would have ‘game’ – I’d be able to walk up to a guy I thought was cute, put my moves on him, and he’d be putty in my hands. I would be a flirtatious prowess! Reality? I recently went on a speed date at a racing event as I was the only single lady in the group – my potential suitor said I used excessive hand gestures and was terrifying. Fab.

Expectation V Reality #5 – My Athleticism 

In my twenties I was for sure going to be one of those fitspo girls, someone who actually enjoyed exercising, who would swap fries for a garden salad and instead of wanting to buy new heels or dresses, would be excited at the prospect of buying new Nikes. Now don’t get me wrong, Nike’s are freaking awesome, but I’m also a huge fan of KFC Sundays and saying YES to second helpings/desserts.

Expectation V Reality #6 – My dating life is going to be awesome

I expected The Notebook type of romance, Romeo and Juliet type shit, someone that would make me ‘want to be a bird’ – buuuuut reality = stuck weeding through the ralph’s of the world. Hey someone’s got to love them right?

In summary…..

Season, Reason or a Lifetime

“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person…When someone is in your life for a REASON,it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.They have come to assist you through a difficulty;to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.They may seem like a godsend, and they are.They are there for the reason you need them to be.” Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.”Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.”LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.”— Unknown

I recently found this wee gem online and couldn’t believe how relevant it was to me at this time. It’s scary how true this is, that people are in your life for either a season, reason or a lifetime. I have people in my life that I either have, or its felt like, I’ve known them for a lifetime, people that continually teach me life lessons and are there when I need them. They act as lights in what can be a dark world.

I’ve also known people that have come in and out of my life and whatever form they’ve taken, they’ve taught me things that I needed to learn at that time. When they’ve left my life, it’s because I’ve needed to take something away from them, to learn something new about myself, about what I want, or where I’m going. This is a hard one to fathom; sometimes you don’t understand why certain people leave your life, it seems cruel, unfair and out of the blue. It takes ages for you to realise that they’re gone for a reason, and maybe you just haven’t learnt it yet.

Being the control freak I am, I have a consistent need to have ‘power’ in situations, for me to make decisions, to be in control. When I lose or don’t have said control, I can’t handle it. I feel anxious, uneasy and restless. Sure this is a bad habit, one that I’m working on, but I can’t help how I react. It’s because of this incessant desire to be in control that I find it difficult to move on and am in the constant search for closure. But the above quote makes so much sense and brings me to the realisation that closure is what you learn from the relationship, how its made you a better or different person. It’s not about the happy ending, it’s about finishing a chapter and starting a new one. Often we think that to get closure means for the other person to give it to them. This thinking screams disappointment, as you can’t control how others feel and act, you can only control how you react. When we stop looking for others to make things better, or for fairness to catch up and fix it for us, we can be free. People are going to fuck up, they’re going to hurt you, but if we look to those people to make things better, we’ll be looking forever, maybe the best type of closure is moving on and realising that you never needed closure at all.

Dates

Date

noun

“A social or romantic appointment or engagement. I’ve got a hot date tonight.”

After getting far too caught up on a blog site that recounts traumatic dating experiences I thought I should share my own. Although not amusing at the time, I can now appreciate the ridiculousness of this said date and love sharing the story to make single-tins feel a bit better about their quest for romance.

I had known Daniel since I was 16 after I was introduced to him by my ex boyfriend. I once had a crush on him but it had quickly fizzled as I never saw him out. I was drawn to his matter-of-fact persona and cheeky attitude towards life and when I saw him at the local pub one thirsty Thursday night we got chatting. We exchanged numbers and a couple days after he asked me out. Winning!

Looking back I was far too optimistic. We had planned to go to the movies and go back to his house afterwards where his and my friends were meeting for a BBQ. He texted me the Friday night at said pick up time that he was outside my house, “Yo I’m outside”.

Strike One – boys, always, always go to the door, I don’t care how awkward it is for you. Side note – don’t greet me with ‘Yo’

Strike Two – I hadn’t actually given him my address. creepy? yes.

So ignoring the above I hugged him hello and jumped in his car. I saw a half-empty box of woody’s at the passenger seat’s footing as well as an open can in the cup holder of the car.Assuming this was from the weekend’s antics I carried on conversation with him about each other’s days. This was when he took a swig from the open woody’s can, to my absolute horror. I laughed awkwardly and asked him what he was doing when he replied, “well coke is just so expensive at the movie’s these days I thought I may as well have something else in there!” I wasn’t even able to justify this as a ‘fair enough’ circumstance. I just continued to laugh awkwardly, even more so when we got on the subject of tattoos and he was planning on getting a tattoo of two kiwis fornicating on his ass cheek. This was one classy gentleman. Strike three – tattoos are sexy as hell, but two kiwi’s fucking on your ass? dat aint cute.

When we got to the cinemas Daniel spotted I had a handbag with me and coerced me into smuggling in his woody’s cans. As if this wasn’t bad enough we get to the counter only to be served by a girl Daniel knew. So he starts flirting with her in front of me whilst attempting to hustle children’s tickets, then senior citizen tickets for us. He knows how to treat me like a queen!  Strike four – don’t flirt with other women in front of me – just plain rude. We eventually get tickets and get seated inside. The movie begins and Daniel cracks open a woody. I’m fairly certain that Daniel won’t be able to recount the plot of the movie seeing as he spent most of the movie in the toilet…because he had drunk to much…and telling me to shush when I responded to his multiple questions of ‘what was going on.’

My prince charming

Me – completely and utterly astounded

After what felt like nine hours had passed it was time to go back to Daniel’s house to meet my friends. I spent the car ride there processing an escape plan in my head – I would meet my friends and make an excuse, any excuse, to leave. So imagine my surprise when I receive a texts from my friends saying they wouldn’t be coming after all. I rang my friend immediately and told her that she has to come, no excuses and that it was a do-or-die type of situation I was in.

We walked to the front door where Daniel told me that he heard his dog coming. I love dogs – great! Perhaps this would be his saving grace? Well unless I was into horse-sized dogs that vomit on strangers coming into his home, I was not in luck. Not to worry though my prince charming had my back – he handed me a paper towel and told me to “clean yourself up love.” aww. I was also lucky enough to meet his father – who was too busy playing play station and having his own ‘no pants party’ to even look up at me.

My friend messaged me saying she was outside. Thank God. Seeing as Daniel was outside having a fag with his friends and that I at this point was seeing red, I didn’t bother saying goodbye and left the house quickly. I was in complete shock. Did this just happen? Is he serious? Am I being punk’d??

Daniel, always the trier, messaged me a few days after asking me out again. I couldn’t believe it, did he actually think the date went well?? Surely not! I messaged him saying that I was sorry but wasn’t interested and he asked me why. Being naive and not wanting to upset him, all I could muster was “well…getting drunk at the movies was a bit random” to which he replied that he had been nervous and needed liquid courage, but probably not that much liquid courage. To this day Daniel and I are still friends and we laugh about that date. But whenever I’m feeling lonely, sad about a guy or let down, I can always think back to this and remember that things can’t possibly get worse. It’s also refreshing to think that every date I go on from now is sure to be better…I hope.

… Guys Suck.

Venus & Mars Part II

Females and Males are all about double standards. Some are obvious, some are more secretive. Probably the most talked about double standard is that if men go out on the pull and get with lots of women they’re deemed a ‘player’, a ‘stud’, a ‘lad’. Though when girls go and do the same thing they are slut-shamed and are judged harshly.  If you’re a single lad, you’re praised for your skills with the ladies, you’re seen as a man about town and are given celebratory high fives when you bring a girl home at night. Now for single women, if you meet a guy and pash him, even bring him home at the end of the night, success! But there’s always the follow up questions, “so are you going to see him again?”, “did he send you the follow up text?” Slow down on the third degree there! Sometimes you do just want a random fling, a cheeky pash on a night out, not all girls are desperately -seeking-Susan’s looking for relationships with anything we come across. Some of us actually enjoy being single and meeting different people.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not some feminist that goes on and on about equal women’s rights. Sure I think there should be gender equality but I’m not going to be going door-to-door preaching about it. I understand that some things are just the way they are – even though they may not seem fair or just.

So when it comes to male and female friend-relationships of course they’re going to have their own set of rules and double standards. When is it appropriate to call on them in a time of need? What do I need to stay clear of? Or am I just over thinking things too much? I think you have to be so careful with male friends that you don’t put them in that substitute boyfriend category. It’s all to easy when you’re single that you lean on those close to you for encouragement, support or words of comfort. But when you’ve gotten to the stage where you’re wearing their clothes or spending all your time together, you’re just in a relationship….without the sex.

A frustrating double standard when it comes to male and female friendships is the jealousy factor. One of you is bound to get jealous if the other is talking to good looking males or females. But if you’re purely friends then it shouldn’t be an issue…right? But as mentioned, I think there is always an undertone of sexual attraction – however small it may be. It’s only natural. Similarly, if you’re out with your male friend and they pull when you’re there – you’re seen as the ultimate wingwoman, helping your mate out. But if you dare get with someone, you’re seen as ‘ditching’ your friend or rubbing it in their face. People look towards the male as the ‘nice guy’, the one that has your back and would do anything for you. And don’t get me wrong – they are that nice guy, but females are so often seen as the one that’s leading them on, making them think they have a chance, playing mind games. Oh to have a penis for just one day…

So what happens if you dare go there with your male friend? You dare cross that threshold of purely platonic friendship and move slowly towards the dark side…can things ever go back to the way they were? After you’ve gone there with a friend things are different. You can’t un-see them naked. You can’t pretend to wonder what it would be like, you bloody well know. In this situation I suppose you have three choices.

1 – Ignore them completely. They are now dead to you. Them and the memory of what happened will slowly be erased from your memory.
2. Continue on as normal and pretend that it didn’t happen at all by casually ‘forgetting’ the incident.
3. Have the awkward chat with them about ‘what it means’ – avoiding eye contact or even more cowardly, having the chat via text messaging or Facebook chat.

Now that lines are completely blurred, it’s rare for the friendship to go back to the way it was. Of course it can with lots of time working on re-establishing boundaries, but my advice? Why potentially ruin a friendship for one night?

Venus & Mars

My father – a man of so much wisdom that his friends have dubbed him ‘Buddha’ has always told me two things.

1 – no boy will ever love me as much as he does
2 – a guy and a girl can never be friends

While I wholeheartedly agree on the first, the latter is more difficult. I’ve always been someone that has gotten along better with males. While women can often be dramatic and emotional, I’ve found males easy going, fun and are less likely to put up with your bullshit. They can listen to you vent and whine but give you that reality check that you so often need. They’re always up for a good time or a cheeky drink or 9 and you can spend time with them without worrying what they’re saying behind your back – they’ll say it to your face!

But relationships with our male counterparts are not one dimensional. They’re tricky and bring with it a certain set of rules that one must abide by:

1 – no datey date’s – catching up for a coffee or a drink is fine but romantic meals for two at a candle-lit dinner just screams ‘DATE’
2 – in addition to the above, split the bill and don’t let them pay for you.
3 – absolutely no cuddles
4 – don’t get drunk and pash them – believe me it’s a terrible idea and never ends well
5 – avoid ‘couple’ photos where it causes everyone to ask ‘are they…?’

Seems simple right? Something else my parents had always cautioned me was that with relationships between a male and female there’s always, at least a small, sexual attraction. In my case, completely true, and how can it not be? If you’re spending so much time with someone on such an emotional level; sharing your hopes and dreams, your fears and aspirations, you’re going to start confusing friendships with relationships, it’s only human nature. But is this healthy? Is one person always leading the other on? Are there situations where it can be platonic?

I’ve been in situations in the past where I’ve been the person who likes the other, and my love is unrequited, but I’ve also been in the opposite position, where I haven’t felt the same feelings back. Both are hard. Both are awkward. Both are confusing.

With my very first male best friend, I knew I liked him instantly. We were in all of the same classes at school, ran in the same circles and would see each other out all the time. We were ridiculously close and would text each other constantly, talk on the phone and even created our own ‘secret’ handshake – ridiculously cool, I know. You can imagine how excited I was when he asked me to my first ball back in 2007. I was sure that he liked me back so I spend hundreds of dollars on the perfect dress, shoes, getting my nails, hair and make up done. He came to my house, was introduced to my parents, I met his, and we had the obligatory photos together. I. Was. Ecstatic. Fast-forward to the after ball and I was not so ecstatic when I saw him getting off with one of my best friends at the time. Ok so maybe he didn’t like me back after all…

I’ve also been in the situation where I’ve been the one to let someone else down. One of my closest friends years ago confessed that he had feelings for me and I just didn’t feel the same way back .Although I wished I did I couldn’t force something that just wasn’t there. It was awkward as hell at first but we quickly got over it and are back to being best friends again.  So the old age question – can men and women be friends? Again, it’s tricky. I’d like to say yes but there’s a fine line you have to tread in doing so. This includes being wary of his and your feelings, if either of you have partners, being wary and respectful of their feelings as well.

I’d say it’s a bit of a tightrope – one that I’m still learning how to manovuer

How We Date

I was recently sent a link to an article from the ‘Thought Catalogue’ about how we date now (link  http://thoughtcatalog.com/jamie-varon/2014/12/this-is-how-we-date-now/) and it definitely struck a cord with me. If I look back to my parents, who have been together for fifty something years, they were high school sweethearts and are huge role models in my life. They met each other when they were youngin’s, got married, travelled the world together, and went on to have six children (and no we’re not Catholic). That’s how it was done back then. You met ‘your person’, and stuck with them. Chivalry was alive and well and romance was something beautiful where men actually made effort and delivered compliments.

Fast forward to today’s dating age. Compliments such as ‘you fine as hell’ are coupled with the 2 am booty call text, “hey are you out?” and social media platforms such as tinder, grinder and so forth are making this whole dating thing more difficult. Though some say that such apps open up the dating pool I would simply remind them that quantity doesn’t not always mean quality. And that’s what Jamie Varon in his article talks about – that we’re spoilt for choice when it comes to dating. With tinder, we don’t just stop when we’ve found someone that tickles our fancy, we keep swiping. Is this to find someone better looking? More compatible? Or is it because we’re just curious to see what’s out there. Even when we do find someone we like, it takes forever for us to ‘lock that shit down’ because we’re all too curious about the what if’s – what if there’s someone better out there for me? what if it doesn’t work? what if it does work – I’ll be stuck with them!’ Of course, in my opinion, this is far more true for the male population. One past relationship springs to mind – I was into this guy who seemed to be in to me but when it was time to DTR (define the relationship) I was told that although he liked me and enjoyed spending time with me, he was ‘scared’ of relationships so he was happy keeping things casual, but I wasn’t to worry because he hadn’t intended on seeing anyone else. Oh how he treated me like a princess – he wasn’t intending on getting with anyone! lucky me! *insert ridiculously sarcastic face here.

But girl’s are just as bad. So often we forget about the nice guy that’s been there the whole time and instead, we crave attention from those who really couldn’t give a flying fuck. We flirt with the guy in the bar to get the free drink but leave if his banter is average or has creepy mates and move onto the next potential.

Being single and playing with all those ‘fishies in the sea’ is great sure but when does that wandering eye become a problem? Maybe the amount of choices we have these days are stopping us from realising the potential that’s in front of us, that we’re giving up on something great for some mediocre options. Because of these endless options, we’re always searching for more, our next fix, our next gratification.  And so begins the cycle. Maybe it’s because I’m in my twenties and your twenties (I’m told) are for doing whatever the f*^* you want, travelling the world and exploring everything about yourself. So maybe this whole cycle ends after your twenties? God one can only hope…